Senior Citizen Jokes


Senior Citizen Jokes

Have A Funny Joke or Story About Seniors? Let's hear it!

We can all laugh at ourselves, and if we're honest, some of the "senior moments" we have really are funny. Share your own funny story, or jokes, so we can all have a chuckle about our (aging) selves. Join in!

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What Other Visitors Have Said

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Advantages of being a senior citizen 
Kidnappers are not very interested in you. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. No one expects you to run into a burning …

Seniors' bedtime Not rated yet
Q. When is a senior's bedtime? A. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

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Here's a few more ticklers to warm you up :-)

• Two elderly ladies were discussing the upcoming dance at the country club. "We're supposed to wear something that matches our husband's hair, so I'm wearing black," said Mrs. Smith. "Oh my," said Mrs. Jones, "I'd better not go."

• Three old ladies were discussing the trials and tribulations of getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can't remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich." The second lady chimed in with, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down." The third one responded, "Well, ladies, I'm glad I don't have that problem, knock on wood," as she rapped her knuckles on the table and then said, "That must be the door, I'll get it!"

senior-jokes

• An elderly woman was telling her daughter about a date with a 90-year-old man. "Believe it or not, I had to slap his face three times!" said the woman. "Do you mean that old man got fresh with you?" the daughter asked in disgust. "Oh, no!" her mother explained, "I had to keep slapping his face to keep him awake!"

• An old fellow fell in love with a lady. He got down on his knees and told her there were two things he would like to ask her. She replied, "OK." He said, "Will you marry me?" She replied, "Yes," then asked what his second question was. He replied, "Will you help me up?"



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